God please help me with relationships.

When we talk about relationships we use economical metaphors like:

• we value people
• we invest in people
• relationships could be bankrupt (how many times have you heard the sermon that you should do good things for your partner, it is like banking. When the hard times come and you make mistakes you will still have credit)
• people are priceless, etc.

The problem is that although this is only metaphors, it is metaphors that say that we think of love or relationships as a commodity. Love and relationships become something I use. Something that is of value to me because the person is doing something for me or are acting in a way that suits me. If someone is doing something for us, or offering something to us like time or gifts or praise, then they have worth. Perhaps even priceless. But this also implicates that if they do not act the way we expect them to, they can lose value. We use love like money.
The church uses love like money. Don Miller says that in love the church withhold affirmation from the people who do not agree with everything we say and lavish those who agree, with love. We say we love everyone but it is just not true. The moment we barter with love, we all lose!
We are always busy trying to improve people. To make them better, to make them acceptable. To teach them to think like we think and then we call it discipleship. Discipleship is not to teach people to think like we think, but to implore them to love God and then they will think the way God loves. They must see the love of God in our lives and this must make them yearn for the love of God in their lives. Thus weather we realise it or not, discipleship is not a choice or a program. We are all busy with discipleship, we are saying to the world, "look at the way I live, God is here and this is how I live for Him".
When people find God, love God and give themselves to God we must get out of the way with all our ideas. We must celebrate and be inspired by their findings. Even if they don’t we must still love them and celebrate the beauty of God that is still visible in their lives.
To Christ everyone was valued and accepted; the only ones he argued with, was the religious groups who withheld value form those who did not think like they did. Romans 5:8 states

⁸ But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Our value is not in our belief or faith. Our value is in the fact that the King of the Universe deemed sinners worthy of His Son! When Mother Teresa had been asked how she could love everyone she met, she replied:" How wonderful it is to meet Christ!" Read Mathew 25:31-46